Data Science

FUNNY

Sardar Ji Jokes

Santa: What is another difference between a mosquito and a fly?
Banta: A fly can fly but a mosquito cant mosquito.

Banta: When did George Washington die?
Santa: 2 days b4 his funeral

Banta: tell me five FERROUCIOUS animals that you can think of……
Santa: 3 lions and 2 tigers.

Sardarji is buying a TV
“Do you have color TVs?”
“Sure.”
“Give me a green one, please.”

Sardarji calls Air India.
“How long does it take to fly to Amritsar?”
“Just a sec,” says the rep.
Thank you.” says the Sardarji and hangs up.

Sardarji is filling up a job application
He promptly fills in the lines on NAME, AGE, ADDRESS, etc.
Then came the column SALARY EXPECTED
After much thought he writes: Yes

Sardarji fixed an answering machine at home.
Two days later he disconnected it because he was getting complaints
like “Saala phone utha ke bolta hai ghar pe nahin hai.”

What does Sardarji do after taking photocopies?
He compares it with the original for spelling mistakes.

What does Sardarji do when he has one white sheet and wants an extra
sheet?
He makes a photocopy of the white sheet.

There was a meeting of all the Surd freedom fighters.
They were planning for a free Punjab. Santa Singh raised a point,
“Oh…we’ll take Punjab from India but how would we develop it?”
That was a tough one indeed. Banta Singh had a brainwave…
“No problem! We’ll attack Amrika, it would take over us and then
we would become a State of USA and develop automatically.”
All the surds became happy with this very simple solution but an old surd
was not. Someone asked him why he wasn’t happy.
The old surd replied, “THAT’S ALL VERY WELL…WHAT WOULD HAPPEN IF BY CHANCE WE TOOK OVER AMRIKA???”

 Sardarji went to the appliance store sale and found a bargain.
“I would like to buy this small TV,” he told the salesman.
“Sorry, we don’t sell to Sardars,” he replied.
He hurried home removed his turban and changed his hair style, and returned
to tell the salesman
“I would like to buy this TV.”
“Sorry, we don’t sell to Sardars,” Salesman replied.
“Damn, he recognised me,” he thought.
He went for a complete disguise this time, haircut, new hair colour,
new outfit, big sunglasses, waited a few days, saw the salesman again.
“I would like to buy this TV.”
“Sorry, we don’t sell to Sardars,” he replied.
Frustrated, he exclaimed, “How do you know I’m a Sardar?”
“Because that’s a microwave,” he replied.

Why did 18 Sardars go to a movie?
Because below 18 was not allowed.

How do you measure Sardarji’s intelligence?
Stick a tire pressure gauge in his ear

 

Sardar M.B.B.S

Once, a Sardar applied to Medical School . Needless to say, he never made it..

These are the answers he gave…

ANTIBODY – against everyone

ARTERY – the study of fine paintings

BACTERIA – back part of a cafeteria

CAESARIAN SECTION – a district in Rome

CARDIOLOGY – advanced study of playing cards

CAT SCAN – searching for lost kitty

CHRONIC – neck of a crow

COMA – punctuation mark

DIAGNOSIS – person with a slanted nose

DILATE – the late Welsh princess

GALLBLADDER – bladder in a girl

GENES – blue denim

HERNIA – she is close by

HYMEN – greeting to several males

IMPOTENT – distinguished, well-known

LABOR PAIN – hurt at work

LACTOSE – person without digits on the foot

LIPOSUCTION – a French kiss

LYMPH – walk unsteadily

MICROBES – small dressing gowns

OBESITY – city of Obe

SECRETION – hiding anything

TABLET – small table

ULTRASOUND – radical noise